the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
