your thong is hanging out like whoa
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
