I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize