She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
