found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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