I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
