so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
