i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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