I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
