i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
