who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
