there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We left an ass print on the piano.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
