the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
