If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
