I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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