I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
