do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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