and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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