This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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