IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
