oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
