think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
