I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
