went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
