Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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