rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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