somebody snuck up and got me drunk
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
