every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
