That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize