he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
should my penis look like a turkey
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
