I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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