tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
