Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
