Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Every concussion has its silver lining
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
