Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
