They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
