Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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