i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
