oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
