So drunk its hurt
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
