I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
