My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
