you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
