guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
