Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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