Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize