Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
