God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
