You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
