I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
