Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
