I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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