you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
