she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
