I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize