sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
