ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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