Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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