she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
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